你说你想要声势浩大 You said you wanted splashy.
-这声势足够浩大了吗 -这才哪到哪啊 - Is this splashy enough? - Well, it's a beginning.
我是”首趣”首席趣味官 I'm CFO, Chief Fun Officer.
我是艺术总监 实打实的不是虚衔 And I'm art director, which is an actual title.
我已经有粉丝了 I have fans now.
你没听错 而且他们富得流油 Yeah, and they're incredibly wealthy
住着奢华城堡 and they live in castles
还雇我来拍他们玩乐 and hire me to shoot their playthings.
我们一定能让《风骚女子》远超杂志本身 We could turn Minx into so much more than just a magazine.
品牌营销 时尚盛典 Merchandising, uh, events,
海外版本 让它风靡全球 international editions, taking this thing global.
你心里有事 Something is going on with you.
我想和你一起解决 赴汤蹈火 在所不辞 Whatever this is, I want to figure it out with you.
掌声欢迎 乔伊斯·普里格 Please welcome Joyce Prigger.
-我出名了吗 -是 你已经是名人了 - Am I a celebrity? - Sure, you're a celebrity.
这难道不是说明了人们 Doesn't it seem like people are longing
渴望对性行为更加开明 for a way to be more open about sexuality
也不以此为耻了吗 without feeling shame?
天佑驭席女王 God save the queen of dicks.
而且 我敢说这绝不是终点 And, you know, I don't think it stops there.
《深喉》是我看的第一部色情片，但它和具 我感觉这是一个开端 I-I think this feels like the beginning of something.
♪ I got to get in a hurry ♪
嗨 Hey.
♪ I gotta buckle down ♪
♪ I can't believe ♪
♪ My baby done put me down ♪
谢谢啦 Thank you.
在日落大道一天就能获得九万次注目 Sunset Boulevard. You got 90,000 eyes a day.
这真是个好主意 道格 That is a wonderful idea, Doug.
特别好 Truly inspired.
是吗 因为昨天你说的是 Really? 'Cause yesterday you said
广告牌是”公共空间的祸端” that billboards were "a blight on the public commons."
嘿 经过一夜思考 Well, you know what, I slept on it,
我觉得这主意很妙 and it's a winner.
你说 斑比 Yes, Bambi.
呃 这群人是谁 Um, who are those people
为什么他们一直在拍我们 and why do they keep taking our picture?
《滚石》杂志社的 他们今天是 That's Rolling Stone, and they're here today
来为股底抽薪做专栏的 doing a feature on Bottom Dollar.
你真该看看我做的备忘事项 斑比 You really need to read my memos, Bambi.
哦 我有原则 不看备忘 Oh, I don't read memos on principle.
但 好玩耶 But fun.
是的 没错 Yes, it is.
非常···有意思 It's... so much fun.
今天是个大日子 重要拍摄 重大活动 Big day today, big shoot, big issue.
有谁知道里奇去哪儿了吗 Does anyone know where Richie is?
艺术部门还在等他的审批呢 Art department's still waiting on his approval,
我不明白他怎么还没来 and I don't know why he's not here.
我来了 来了来了 准备好了 I'm here. I'm here and I'm ready.
呃 再来点 Uh, more.
都要 全都要 Both. Also both.
你知道我的预算不是摆设吧 You know my budgets aren't suggestions, right?
我们超出了多少 Just how over are we?
20%还在上涨 Twenty percent and counting.
在我这不过是四舍五入的小事儿 Eh, that's a rounding error in my book.
我们要全力支持这个人的远见卓识 I think we need to support this man's vision.
这是你应得的 You've earned it.
多谢了 康妮 Thank you, Connie.
在其他新闻中 关于我新的 And in other news, the, uh, comment cards
科学杂志《星辰之外》的评论卡 for my new science magazine, uh, Beyond,
已经出来了…内容都… came out, and they're, uh...
···很正向 ...they're very positive.
我来读给你们听听 Yeah, so I'll read 'em to you.
有人说”非常具原创性” Somebody said, "Original."
”令人惊叹” "Mind-blowing."
“继旁氏方格后最伟大的科学进步” "The biggest development in science since the Punnett square."
这是我写的 I wrote that one.
日历的进展如何 And how are we looking on the calendars?
我们有不少非常性感的选择 I think we've got some really sexy options.
哦对了乔乔 我撤掉了女性语录 Oh, Joycie, I pulled off the lady quotes.
所以现在只剩结实美味的肌肉 So now it's just thick and juicy slices of beefcake.
真是可口呀 Yum.
♪ I got to get in a hurry ♪
刚刚是什么情况 What the hell was that?
《滚石》的人都驾好了相机 We've got Rolling Stone posted up,
然而就这时候你决定给予我尊重了吗 and all of a sudden you decide to respect me?
我 我 我不懂你在说什么 Well, I-I don't-- I don't know what you mean.
拜托 普里格 Come on, Prigger, please.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
这是我们独特的工作方式 This is our thing.
我们针锋相对 唇枪舌战 We fight, we bang heads,
但最终我们能拧成一股绳迸发出思维的火花 but then we come together and we make magic.
这多”风骚”范儿啊 It is very Minx-y.
这什么时候是个形容词了 When did that become an adjective?
我不明白你为什么想让这个记者没东西写 I just don't understand why you're trying to bore this reporter out of a story.
你知不知道西蒙·麦克斯是什么人 Do you have any idea who Simon Michaels is?
你 你这是引狼入室啊 Y-you-you've brought death to our door.
这个人 他揭露黑暗 口诛笔伐 Okay, this guy, he writes searing exposés.
他曝光了各类渎职恶行 He uncovers malfeasance.
他推翻霸权 He topples despots.
据我所知你不是什么第三世界的暴君 乔伊斯 Last I checked, you are not a third world dictator, Joyce.
有什么好怕的 I think we'll be okay.
是 但有备无患 Yeah, well, still, one never knows
谁知道他们能写出什么来 what's going to bring 'em down, you know?
你读过关于尼克松的文章吗 Have you read a word about Nixon?
他是美国的总统 He's the president of the United States.
我们不过是出版丁丁杂志 We publish a dick mag.
只不过现在 Although right now,
我也不知道你和总统谁更多疑了 I don't know who's more paranoid.
短短六个月 我们的销量一飞冲天 In just six months, sales are through the roof.
作者们求我们刊登他们的文章 Okay, writers beg to contribute.
我们已经是顶流了 为什么还要冒风险呢 We're on top. I mean, come on, why risk that?
因为 乔乔 如果我们登上了《滚石》的封面 Because, Joycie, if we get on the cover of Rolling Stone,
我们能一飞冲上宇宙 it'll launch us to outer fucking space.
不 你是想要《星辰之外》能一飞冲上宇宙 No--you mean launch Beyond.
别把我当傻子好吗 Okay? I'm not an idiot.
我不会为了宣传你的伟大新刊 I'm not risking Minx
拿《风骚女子》冒险的 just so you can give your pet project a boost.
你是嫉妒了吗 So this is about jealousy?
哦这可绝对不是嫉妒 我发自心底地 Oh, my God, no. I'm very... I'm very happy
为你和你新认识的的名流朋友高兴 for you and your new celebrity friend--
我的编辑有名字的 乔伊斯 My editor, Joyce,
他叫卡尔·萨根 Carl Sagan.
行吧 但那种报道会混淆视听 Yeah, that kind of press is a distraction.
而且你对我的日历都做了些什么啊 And what was that hatchet job you did on my calendar?
终于说到正题了 所以你还是生气了对吧 There it is. So you were pissed.
道格 我费了好大劲才挖掘出 Doug, I spent hours curating
这座女性智慧的宝库 this-this treasure trove of feminist witticisms.
但它就是靠贩卖男色起家的啊 It pulled focus from the schlongs.
没有内核的搞黄是没有意义的 你明白吗 Schlongs without context are just schlongs, okay?
是那些语录让他们有”风骚”范的 It's the quotes that make them Minx-y.
真是见了鬼了 God damn it.
看你还是生气了 终于露出真面目了吧 There it is, kid! There's the pepper!
开会的时候怎么没见 Where was that in the meeting?
-好吧 -我们得走了 - Okay. - We gotta go.
记得今天放学外婆会接你们 Hey, and remember Grandma's picking you up
过去住一晚哦 after school for the sleepover today, okay?
一旦你们发现她续第二瓶酒了 And if she pops that second jug of wine,
立马打给我 I want you to call.
你给汤米安排了今天 Well, Tommy has a standing order
九点要去进行酒鬼唤醒服务呢 to water down the Carlo Rossi after 9:00.
今天你不用去商店了 Oh, and don't worry about going to the store.
-我有时间的 我去吧 -不 - I have time today. - No way.
作为家里的女主人你做的已经够多了 You got enough on your plate as hostess.
而且 我不想让你现在就消耗太多精力 And besides, I want to make sure that you have plenty of energy for later.
哦 那好吧 Oh, excuse me.
我今天早上还有考试呢 I have a test first period.
哦 好吧 快走吧 Okay. All right, get out of here.
好吧 All right.
呦呦呦 早上好呀 恩爱小夫妻们 Well, well, good morning, lovebirds.
早啊 哈罗德和我想问问 Hey, Harold and I were wondering if you had
你们今晚的晚餐还有没有空位 a couple spots open at your table for dinner tonight.
你们办的派对最棒了 You guys throw the best parties.
对吧 哈罗德 Right, Harold?
改行做校车司机了哈 兰尼 Driving the bus today, Lenny?
肯定像进了狗窝一样 Must be in the doghouse.
也没有吧 Nope, just, uh,
跟孩子们待在一起挺好的 enjoy spending time with my children.
对不起 我们家太挤了 I'm so sorry-- even with the leaf,
几片叶子都塞不下的程度 we can only fit eight.
要不下次吧 Maybe next time?
好吧 Okay.
我只让你说一句话来着 哈罗德 You had one line, Harold.
就一句 One.
♪ Talk about your yo-yo ♪
这是里奇的位子 And this is where Richie sits.
他以前在独立工作室工作 He used to be in the studio,
而现在 but then Life magazine called him
他被《人生》杂志称为”美国丁丁毕加索” "America's Picasso of the Pecker."
是我发现了他 给了他工作还有两个助理 So, I gave him a work station and two assistants.
那边是蒂娜 And over here is Tina.
她可以自己挑选地毯 She got to choose her own carpet.
这个是短毛的因为她热衷古典范 She went with the short pile 'cause she's classy.
那边是你吗 Is that you right there?
是的 Yeah.
那是我成为首席之前 That was from before my CFO days.
你从裸模进化成了首席财务官 You went from nude model
首席趣味官 to Chief Financial Officer?
首席财务官听起来像是你自己编的词耶 Chief Fun Officer. Yours sounds made-up.
另外 我也是插页协调员哦 Also, I'm still centerfold coordinating,
这是个真的工作 which is a real job.
但我还在寻找新机会 But I'm looking for my next gig here.
只等一个九星连珠的好时候 Just waiting for the stars to align.
说起星星 Speaking of stars,
这里坐的是 who do we have here?
占卜师 美容家 Astrologer, cosmetologist,
《星辰之外》杂志荣誉编辑 and Beyond magazine's editor emeritus,
卡尔·萨根先生 Mr. Carl Sagan.
你好 Hello.
她说的没有一个是真的 I'm almost none of those things.
哦好吧 再见了朋友们 Okay, bye, guys.
再见 安妮 Bye, Annie.
你知道乔伊斯·普里格在哪吗 Do you know where I could find Joyce Prigger?
你是那种只有在一片混乱中才能写作的人吗 You one of those people who can only write in the midst of chaos?
来 这个给你 Here you go.
这是所有你需要的东西 This should have everything you need.
嗯 我觉得好像还缺点什么 Yeah, I-I think I missed something.
哦 我提前写好了我的回答 Oh, I wrote out my answers in advance.
但我还没问问题呢 Right, but I didn't submit any questions.
我经历过太多采访 I've done dozens of interviews,
95%的问题都大同小异 and 95% of the questions are exactly the same.
哦不好意思 你叫什么来着 Um, I'm so sorry. What was your name again?
安妮·莱博维茨 Annie Leibovitz.
哦对 好的 莱博维茨小姐 Right, okay, um, Ms. Leibovitz,
你能别拍我的照片吗 could you please not take my picture?
可这是她的工作 It's her job.
好吧 但我也在努力做我的工作 Well, I'm trying to do mine.
而且今天不巧 我太忙了 And you have caught me on a very busy day.
-“请问您是从哪里获取灵感的” -嗯 -"Where do you get your ideas?" - Mm-hmm.
”请问您如何挑选模特” "How do you find your models?
”以及您的男友如何看待您的工作呢” What does your boyfriend think about your job?"
最后一个问题 请允许我拒绝回答 On that last one, I push back firmly but gently.
我绝对不会问这种问题的 I would never ask that question.
好吧 这还是头一次呢 Well, you'd be the first.
不如再让我问几个”头一次”的问题吧 Then why don't you let me be?
我们聊聊你的书吧 那可是一大笔预付款呢 Talk to me about your book. That's a big advance.
你都花在哪里了呢 Wh-what are you spending it on?
短期国债和房地产 Uh, T-bills and a new condo.
在第三页中间 Page three, halfway down.
如果你们不介意的话 And if you'll excuse me,
看起我要去开会了 it looks like I'm needed in a meeting.
我有点兴奋了 I'm getting a bounce.
那是死皮 That's dead skin.
混蛋 Son of a bitch.
浮石 Pumice.
嘿 高领套头衫 浮石 Hey, Turtleneck, pumice stone.
严格来说不是石头 Technically not a stone.
是一种矿浆 It's a mineral slurry.
我帅气的天才们 There's my handsome genius.
嘿 你们要来点喝的吗 Hey, you want something to drink?
要芬达吗 你们想嗨一下吗 A Fanta? You wanna get high?
里奇弄了点不错的大麻 Richie's got some great grass.
开车四十五分钟到锡拉丘兹 Forty-five minute drive to Syracuse,
两次经济舱转机 two connecting flights in coach,
都是为了一个不太可能会进行的采访 all for an interview that doesn't seem to be happening.
哦 会进行的 会进行的 Oh, it's happening. It is happening.
信我 信我 我跟那个记者说的时候 Believe me, believe me. When I told this reporter
你也在 他都疯了 you were here, he flipped his lid.
暴露了他之前毫不激动 Betrayed none of that excitement
-都是假装的 -哦 他只是紧张 - in our brief encounter. - Oh, he's just nervous.
他激动死了都 He is beyond excited.
激动死了 Beyond.
行吧 我想爽一下 Okay. I would like to get high.
行 好 Okay, good.
哪来这么多风滚草 Why are there so many tumbleweeds?
我之前问你了 你说要更多 I asked you earlier. You said more.
我就是打个比方 I meant metaphorically.
应该就只有一个孤独的风滚草 This is supposed to be a lone tumbleweed.
那你不会喜欢那个的 Well, you're not gonna like that.
-哦我的天呐 -宝贝们 - Oh, my God. - Babes...
等等等等 谁能把风扇关上 Wait, wait. Can someone kill the fan?
-什么 -模特们不太高兴 - What? - The models are upset.
很好 这次的概念就是悲伤的帅哥 Good. The concept is Dudes in Distress.
不 是模特不高兴的那种不高兴 No, they're model upset.
只有告诉我是谁把我绑起来了 The only way I can transform into character
我才能进入角色 is to know who tied me up.
我的表演前奏是什么 What's my moment before?
还有 我离得越远 Plus, my cock's gonna look smaller
我的鸡就会看起来越小 if I'm further away.
尽管我们都知道它不小 Even though we all know it's not.
好吧 大家都休息一下 Okay, everyone take five.
请问有人给这俩艺人拿几把伞吗 And can someone give the talent some umbrellas, please?
罗伯特 查理 Robert, Charlie.
听说我们的模特在搞事情 I hear we're having model drama.
那边的布兰多要求特别的妆造 Brando over here is requesting special makeup.
他深信他的角色是未受割礼的 He's convinced his character would be uncircumcised.
好吧 从历史角度来讲他没有错 Well, he's not wrong from a historical perspective.
但是 呃 问题不在这 对吗 But, uh, that's not the problem here, right?
这个布景不太好使 The setup is not working.
我知道 少了点什么 I know. Something's missing.
-只是我不知道是什么 -不是风滚草 - I just don't know what it is. - It's not tumbleweeds.
好 我想孤独体现出来了 Okay, I thought the "lone" was implied.
对 是 Right, yes.
这样如何 How about this?
你先弄你的第二个布景 You move on to your secondary setups,
等我们准备好拍插页了 and then by the time we're ready for our centerfold,
我会解决的 I will have a fix.
行 Okay.
你知道 我不是会在创意上做出评判的人 You know, I'm not one to comment on creative,
但是这些都看起来有点… but this all seems a bit--
-差 -是的 我知道 Off. Yes, I know.
-我们正在想办法 -好 - We're handling it. - Yeah.
我只是不想忽视我们的受众 I just don't want to lose sight of our audience.
我是说《风骚女子》是非常成功的女性杂志 I mean, Minx is a very successful women's magazine.
但是这 两个男人在一块 And this, two men together,
我感觉这会让我们成为众矢之的 I feel like this puts a target on our back.
众矢之的 A target?
外面风传 Well, there's a whisper campaign
说我们的读者很大一部分都是同性恋者 that a good number of our readers are homosexuals.
哦 对 是 Oh. Right, yeah.
我也不知道 但是让各类群体都对我们的作品感兴趣 But, I don't know, isn't it better if our work
不是更好吗 is interesting to all kinds of different people?
这是理想状态 但是我们有 I mean, in an ideal world, but we have advertisers
为了触及女性用户才付钱的广告商 that are paying specifically to reach women.
不要给他们质疑咱们的理由 Let's not give them a reason to question that.
我会注意的 I will take care of it.
我对你完全有信心 I have complete confidence in you.
道格让我告诉你他用夜光杯子 Doug wanted me to tell you he solved the problem
解决了问题 with the glow-in-the-dark mugs.
他不需要你 He doesn't need you.
啥玩意 The what?
为什么我刚刚听说了夜光杯子 Why am I just hearing about glow-in-the-dark mugs now?
谁家会黑灯瞎火喝咖啡啊 And who drinks coffee in the dark?
没人会 因为它不管用 No one, because it doesn't work.
别当回事了 来 继续忙你的吧 Consider it dead. Here, go ahead with your day.
-啥 -不 不 你今天一天够忙了 - What? - No, no, you're having a really
-超级忙 -你在干什么 - busy day. - What are you doing?
-你就忙你的就行了 -是不是卡尔… - You just go do your thing. - Is that Carl Sa--
-不不不不 -道格 - No, no, no, no. - Doug!
西蒙 我能跟你说句话吗 Simon, can I talk to you for a second?
进来 卡尔 麻烦关下灯 Come on in. Carl, hit the lights, please.
-我应该关灯 -我同意 - I should probably-- - I agree.
黑洞 Black holes,
无限密集 infinitely dense,
但却无限迷人 but exponentially fascinating.
哦 老天爷 Oh, sweet Jesus.
-西蒙在哪 -他跟道格在里面呢 - Where's Simon? - He's in there with Doug.
我只是被用作记者诱捕器 I just got used as reporter bait.
你应该跟他谈谈 You need to talk to him.
哦 天呐 你也来说吗 Oh, God, you too?
我受够了扬·温纳 I have enough on my plate without Jann Wenner
打电话跟我抱怨 calling me complaining.
我们都同意让《滚石》做 We agreed to let Rolling Stone do
关于股底抽薪出版社的专题报道 a feature about Bottom Dollar.
但是你得给他们角度吧 You've got to give them an angle.
关于一切以女人为中心的观点 The point of view of the woman at the center of it all.
你说得对 You're right.
观点就是一切 Point of view is everything.
嗯 对 好 Yeah, right, okay.
嗯 我会和西蒙说的 Um, I'll talk to Simon,
作为回报 给我弄点马来 but in return, I'm gonna need some horses.
要几匹 How many horses?
-四匹 -一匹 - Four. - One.
-三匹 -就一匹 - Three? - One.
行吧 那就一匹 但不能是克莱斯代尔品种 Fine, one, but no Clydesdales.
那种马步伐太笨重 They're too cloppy.
本打算给你两匹的 I was gonna give you two.
-但我是不是没机会了 -是 - Is it too late to-- - Yes.
你好 Hello.
里奇 Richie.
你得照顾好自己 You need to take better care of yourself.
拿着 Here.
橙汁和安非他命 OJ and speed.
我和咱们一个牛仔 I had an interesting chat
聊了点有趣的事 with one of our cowboys earlier.
哪个 Which one?
你睡过的那个 The one you slept with.
我睡的哪个 More specific?
里奇 Richie.
同时吗 At the same time?
一瞬间所有的大门都向你敞开了 When all the doors finally open up for you,
你很难不去抓住啊 it's kind of hard not to go through them.
我也经历过 Been there.
我七年级的时候 When Elvis pulled me
猫王把我从观众席领了出来 out of that audience in seventh grade,
从那之后好多年是我人生的欢愉时代 it was the start of a fun few years.
但现在我改邪归正了 再看看他 Then I cleaned up my act, and look at him now.
穿着闪亮斗篷 口齿不清 Slurring his words in a sequined cape
站在拉斯维加斯舞台上的可怜样 on a sad Vegas stage.
我不希望你变成那样 I don't want that for you.
我懂 I know.
但是每一天晚上 But we get invited
都有酷炫的活动邀请我们 to all these amazing events every single night,
我现在都不敢相信我已经成为这些的一份子 and I can't believe I get to be a part of it.
琳达·罗什塔今晚有一个私人试听会 Linda Ronstadt is having a private listening party tonight.
我怎么能错过呢 How can I skip that?
琳达处在人生的巅峰你也是 Linda's having a moment, and so are you.
但是琳达仍然在做出好音乐 But Linda is still putting out music,
可你都不能静下心好好拍照片了 and you can't get your butt through one photo shoot.
你得知道 隔一段时间就得冷静下来 You know you need to lay low every once in a while.
管好自己老兄 Rein it in, buddy.
这跟我一点关系也没有 I had nothing to do with that.
很好 That's right.
你看向他们的目光 And when you look at them,
要更有力量 more powerful, please.
你要更加痛苦 More anguish.
你完成了不可能啊 You squared the circle.
真棒 Well done.
这里没有给出观点 It was missing a point of view.
需要一个切入口 Needed a way in for the audience.
她说话了 She speaks.
继续别停 Please, don't stop.
也许她是来拯救他们的 Maybe she's there to rescue them.
也许是来折磨他们的 Maybe she's there to torment them.
我们只知道她拥有力量 All we know is that she has the power.
30分钟就弄来一匹马 你怎么办到的 What'd you have to do to get a horse here in 30 minutes?
代价是接受你的采访 Talk to you.
嗯哼 Uh-huh.
-好了 -这和我设想的 - All right. - Not what I thought of
你说的储物柜可不一样啊 when you said supply closet.
在这工作够长时间以后就感觉这和办公室格子间没区别了 Work here long enough, this becomes Wite-Out and staplers.
你知道吗 你一直 You know, you've been doing
非常无礼地在躲着我的采访 an inelegant job of avoiding me.
我都没加以掩饰啊 I wasn't trying to hide it.
考虑到你已经接受过很多采访了 I'd think you'd be a little less squeamish
你不应该害怕胆怯呀 for all the press you've done.
那些都是吹捧性质的报道好吗 Those were puff pieces, okay?
你我都清楚 一个精明的记者 We both know that a shrewd journalist,
采访过伊迪·阿敏的记者 someone who, I don't know, say, interviewed Idi Amin,
可以从一个强大女性的任何细节中找到把柄 can take any little detail about a powerful woman,
反过来打压她 and then use it against her.
比如说 我提高音量 Okay, you know, I-I raise my voice,
就变成”暴力的女人用残暴手段爬上高层” "Abusive Bitch Claws Her Way to the Top."
我穿很高的高跟鞋 I wear my heels too high,
会变成”狡诈荡妇一路睡成中层” "Conniving Slut Sleeps Her Way to the Middle."
我明白 Look, I get it.
我们都想掌控叙事 We all want to control the narrative.
但你给我的是一片空白 But you're leaving me to fill in the blanks.
嗯 那你眼里看到的是什么 Mm-hmm, and what is it that you think you see?
-说实话吗 -嗯 - Honestly? - Mm-hmm.
一个女人拼命想掌控一切 A woman gripping the wheel so tight
压力大得快爆炸了 her fingers are about to snap off.
所以呢 So what,
”胆小的控制狂拒绝享受任何乐趣” "Skittish Control Freak Refuses to Have Fun"?
哎 乔伊斯 我不是来 Nah, Joyce, listen. I-I didn't come here
写股底抽薪或者《风骚女子》的 to write about Bottom Dollar or Minx.
我是来写你的 I came here to write about you.
那是因为我认为我们正处于变革之中 Because I think we're in the middle of a revolution,
而你是其中的核心 and I thought you were at the center of it.
但你却只是从旁观察 But you're just watching from the sidelines.
好吧 拜托 我们是记者 Okay, come on. We're journalists.
观察正是我们的工作 Observing is our job.
没错 有时候我们以为会有好叙事 Yeah, and sometimes we can chase a story
观察半天却发现空无一物 only to realize there's nothing there.
呃我··· Uh, I...
好吧 okay.
很高兴你终于 I'm so glad you finally
和我们的朋友西蒙好好聊了聊 sat down with our friend, Simon.
我相信一定很顺利吧 I'm sure it went swimmingly.
是的 非常 非常好 Yes, very, very well.
我知道你不乐意接受采访 Well, I know you were hesitant to do the interview,
但是你还是接受了 因为你懂得关注度的重要性 but you did it because you understand the value of visibility.
我以前就总是喜欢居于幕后 I was always more comfortable in the shadows.
那里更安全 It's safer there.
呃 这个世界太喜欢看强力的女性陷落 Well, the world does love to watch a strong woman fall.
所以现在非常需要让他们看看你的成功 Which is why it's so important that they watch you succeed.
对吗 Mm?
你冒了这个风险 我为你骄傲 I'm proud of you for taking that risk.
我很期待哦 I can't wait to read it.
嘿 Hey.
我刚跟我们一个《滚石》的朋友 I just had an interesting conversation
进行了一段有趣的对话 with one of our Rolling Stone friends.
哪一个 Which one?
你没给好脸色的那个 The one you were rude to.
再多给点提示 More specific.
乔伊斯 Joyce.
同时吗 At the same time?
什么 What?
不是 我··· No, it--I...
当全世界的邀请函都递到了我门前时 look, when the world is knocking at your door,
我很难不筑起高墙 排上尖刺 it's very hard not to put up a wall... with spikes.
听我说 我明白的 Okay, listen, I get it.
我明白的 你只是一时情绪上头 Okay? You're having a moment.
但这份工作的意义 But there's more to this job
不止在于出一份杂志 than just putting out a magazine.
你就像是乐队的主唱 You're like the front woman of a band,
如果乐队有女主唱的话 if bands had front women.
你得时不时地休息一晚上 You need to take a night every once in a while
去享受一下生活好吗 and just have a little fun, okay?
我知道你也是会找乐子的 I know you're that person too.
但我是吗 我会找乐子吗 Am I, though? Am I fun?
作为一名拥有伟大事业的成功人士 For a successful person with a big job,
要我说···挺会的 I'd say that you're... pretty fun.
我们确实收到很多不错的邀请 You know, we do get invited to a lot of cool stuff.
所以是时候让西蒙看看 你会工作 也会找乐子 Now's your chance to show Simon that you're not just spikes.
一开始局面真是胶着啊 It was touch and go at the start,
但之后卡尔凭一己之力大杀四方 a-and then ol' Carl, he really turned on the charm.
蒂蒂 到最后西蒙激动地都快哭了 Tins, by the end, it was like Simon was almost in tears.
惊险开场 完美落幕 A hostage situation with a happy ending.
可不是嘛 但最精彩的还不是这个 Yeah, but that's not even the best part.
卡尔高兴坏了 打电话给他 Carl was so happy that he called his buddies
航天局的朋友 你猜怎么着 over at NASA, a-and guess what?
天空实验室空间站 Beyond is going to be
选《星辰之外》做他们的官方杂志 the official magazine of Skylab.
瞧瞧你 要成为太空中出版杂志的第一人了 Look at you publishing the first magazine in space.
我明天要去休斯顿拿下这个合作 I'm gonna go to Houston tomorrow,and I'm gonna seal the deal,
我想你陪我一起去 and I want you to come with me.
我要把这次出差变成道格和蒂娜的浪漫周末 I want to turn it into a Doug and Tina romantic weekend.
七月份去休斯顿吗 很热吧 Houston in July? Sounds sweaty.
你这样想 空调套房 泳池 Think of this. The air-conditioned suite. The pool.
而且如果你事儿办得好 And if you play your cards right,
我还会带你去加尔维斯顿玩一天 I'll take you on a day trip to Galveston.
行吧 我去… All right, I'll come...
前提是你把《风骚女子》的日历做完 if you finish the Minx calendars.
股底抽薪出版社要上太空了 蒂蒂 Bottom Dollar is going interstellar, Tins.
日历不着急 The calendars can wait.
再不着急 下个月也补不上这个月的日历吧 They're literally the most time-sensitive product.
这些日历快把我烦死了 You are killing me with these calendars.
我才不关心什么营销 我关心的是杂志 I don't care about the merch. I care about the magazines.
我知道他们在背后喊我傻缺 And I know they call me Mug Renetti behind my back
好像我是什么跳蚤市场的小贩 like I'm some sort of flea market peddler.
我听了不好受 It hurts my feelings.
我们每个人的工作都有不顺心的地方 We all have parts of our jobs we don't like.
-对 -就像是提醒你完成工作 - Yeah. - Like reminding you to do your work,
这是秘书的本职工作 which is the job of a secretary,
前提是你留一个秘书超过一周 if you kept one for longer than a week.
他们要是有你一半好我当然留 I would if one of 'em was half as good as you,
信我 但我就是找不到这么好的啊 believe me, but I can't find a good one.
嘿 道格一个小问题 Hey, um, Doug, quick question.
我希望不要又是营销的事 I hope it's not about merchandise.
呃 是关于停车场起火的事 Um, it's about the fires in the parking lot.
-什么 -有人抽烟 把干草点着了 - What? - Yeah, loose hay, smokers.
你是不是做了一个《风骚女子》烟灰缸 Do you make a Minx ashtray?
你要玻璃还是陶瓷的 Glass or ceramic?
在座的都是朋友 We're all friends here.
可以说是 最最亲近的朋友 Some might say the closest of friends.
所以我得问一句 So I have to ask,
你们谁在我家里和我丈夫睡了 which one of you had sex with my husband in our house?
不 是上个月 No, I mean last month.
嗯哼 行 Mm-hmm. Okay.
我们对易掉落的珠宝的规矩是什么来着 What did we say about loose-fitting jewelry, hmm?
拜托各位 只许佩戴法式扣和铆钉 Come on, guys, French clasps and studs only.
我们可还有个什么都往嘴里送的半大孩子 We still have a toddler who will put anything in her mouth.
确实是亨丽埃塔干得出来的 Sounds like Henrietta.
雪莉 不好意思 Sorry, Shelly.
哦 我是说贝拉太太 Oh, I mean Mistress Bella.
我原谅你这一次 I'll forgive it this time.
今晚 贝拉·拉罗奇已选定了主题 Tonight, Bella LaRouche has chosen a theme.
赛迪·霍金斯舞会 Sadie Hawkins.
由女宾们选定你们的晚伴 Ladies choose their partners.
点兵点将… Eeny...
骑马打仗… meeny...
点到是谁… miny...
就跟我走 mine.
啊 快别倒那塑料酒了 Ugh, stop pouring that swill immediately.
查尔·戴高乐送我的一份礼 A gift from Charles de Gaulle to me,
现在我要送给你 and now from me to you.
那就把我的”杰克·丹尼尔”留到下次吧 I'll save my "Jacques Daniels" for another day.
我感觉我来这儿越久 你越不喜欢我 You know, I think you liked me more when I was here less.
我对谁都这样 I feel that way about everyone.
唔 Mm.
如果我早上越界了 If I overstepped this morning,
我向你道歉 I apologize.
往好了想 那剩下的 On the bright side, you're the proud owner
263捆九成新的草垛都是你的了 of 263 lightly used tumbleweeds.
你知道的 乔伊斯和道格都只听你的 You know, you're the only one that Joyce and Doug listen to.
而如果掌权的只听你的 And if powerful people listen only to you,
那意味着你才是最有权的 that means you're the one with all the power.
这只在无人察觉的时候才奏效 It only works if no one notices.
唔 那不如你再多告诉我几个秘密怎么样 Hmm. Well, how about you let me in on a few more secrets?
我最近在研究《风骚女子》接下来24个月的财务预估 I've been looking into Minx's revenue projection for the next 24 months.
你们有什么赠品 What are your comps?
什么都没有 Nothing.
什么都没有吗 Nothing?
我得自己做 I had to create my own.
这是股底抽薪出版社每本杂志的销售额 These are sales for every BDP title.
《功夫甜心》 Kung Fu Cuties.
《激情美脚》 Feet! Feet! Feet!
《牵动我鸡》 Yank My Doodle.
啊 这名字既粗俗又爱国 Oh, vulgar and patriotic.
都是下限高 上限低 All high floor, low ceiling.
有可靠的利润 但很少 Dependable, but marginal profit.
《风骚女子》则不同 Minx is different.
哪怕它有上限 我也不知道在哪里 If there's a ceiling, I don't know where it is.
这是我今天第一次看你笑 That's the first time I've seen you smile all day.
巨大的利润自然让人心情愉悦 Huge margins have that effect on me.
我们会相处得很好的 We're gonna get along just fine.
我确实在沙漠里待得不够久 I haven't spent enough time in the desert.
你说得我心服口服 You are making a compelling case.
下次一起来啊 You gotta come next time.
公交上总是有位置的 There's always room on the bus.
-我们要上场了 -好呀 -We're on soon. -Okay.
你们俩怎么认识的 How do you two know each other?
得了吧 你住在洛杉矶 怎么可能 Oh, come on. How can you live in LA
不认识杰克逊·布朗呢 and not know Jackson Browne?
是 当然 Sure, sure.
刚才那是格林·佛莱 That was Glenn Frey.
是…老鹰乐队的 Of the Eagles.
乔伊斯 我是《滚石》的记者 Joyce, I'm a reporter for Rolling Stone.
我认识这里所有的人 I know every person in this place.
如果你想证明什么的话 Okay, if you're trying to prove something,
那你真是选错地方了 you picked the wrong place to do it.
乔伊斯·普里格 真是稀客 Joyce Prigger, as I live and breathe.
你好啊 琳达·罗什塔 Well, hello, Linda Ronstadt.
里奇向你问好 - Richie sends his regard. - Mwah.
你和西蒙·麦克斯啊 You and Simon Michaels.
什么都别告诉他 Don't tell this man anything.
别担心 她还什么都没说呢 Don't worry, she hasn't.
我们正在对音乐界的薪酬差距展开激烈辩论 We've been having a raging debate on the pay gap in music.
桑尼和雪儿落于下风了 Sonny and Cher are in a bad place.
我们需要你的帮助 We need your help.
-放心 交给我 -好的 - I got you, babe. - Okay.
你记下来了吗 记了吗记了吗 You get it? You get that?
终于把你盼来了 我可太高兴 I'm so glad we finally got you out to one of these things.
我也是 琳达 Me too, Linda.
随着黑洞把你的身体撕成碎片 And as the black hole pulls your body apart,
星系在你身前形成 爆炸 galaxies form and explode before you over the span
跨越了成千上万年 of tens of thousands of years.
呃 这已经是我今天第五次听这一段了 Well, that is the fifth time I've heard that today,
但我 呃 and, uh...
我还是没明白 I still don't get it.
哦 跟你们一起嗑嗨 Oh, you're so much more fun to get high with
可比和亚瑟·米勒那个软蛋好多了 than that drip, Arthur Miller.
哦 是我的闹铃 Oh, that's my cue.
我该赶去伯班克机场啦 Burbank airport awaits.
猜猜谁要飞头等舱了 Well, guess who's flying first class?
她出的钱 三个航班都升了 She sprung for it, all three legs.
您真是太贴心了 That's nice.
一路平安啊 亲爱的 Fly safe, my dear.
怎么样 怎么样 Huh? Huh?
他真是个宝藏 He is a treasure.
是我们的 我们已经搞定他了 He's ours too. We've got him.
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
如果你喜欢的话 我还有一个杂志的想法 If you like that, I got another magazine idea
肯定让你大吃一惊 that's gonna knock your socks off.
-说说 -关于在工作的有钱人 - Okay. - It's about the working rich.
我想叫它《低调的富豪》 I wanna call it Jetset.
那很小众啊 That's very niche.
不 我觉得是受众明确 No, I say targeted.
我觉得我们是时候精简业务了 I think it's time that we start streamlining operations,
裁掉一些表现不佳的杂志 cut loose some of the underperformers.
是的 我同意 Yeah, I agree.
呃···你说的是哪些杂志 What, uh... which ones are you thinking?
-《功夫甜心》 -《功夫甜心》 - Kung Fu Cuties. - Kung Fu Cuties.
还有《激情美脚》 And Feet! Feet! Feet!
-真的吗 -真的 - Really? - Yeah.
我说实话 这有点让人心痛 Well, that one stings, I'm gonna be honest.
那我下一句会更让你心痛 This one's gonna sting the most, then.
我决定不再继续推进《星辰之外》了 I've decided to not move forward with Beyond.
真的 Yeah.
你在开玩笑吧 You're kidding me.
不开玩笑 No.
但是你刚给卡尔升了头等舱 But you just sent Carl first class.
你让他坐头等舱走了 You just sent Carl first class.
科学杂志的上限不够高 The ceiling for science is just not high,
而且它滥用了我们最宝贵的资源 and it's a misuse of our most valuable resource.
什么资源 Which would be what?
你 You.
通过你的营销 过去的六个月来赚到的钱 Your merchandise has made more money for this company
比公司历史上任何东西赚到的都多 in the last six months than anything in its entire history.
我还能做更多的 我保证 I could just do so much more, I promise you.
不 但我需要你想出更多的主意 No, but I need you to come up with more ideas,
你宏大的雷内蒂主意 your big Renetti ideas,
推广《风骚女子》 for Minx.
-行吗 -好 可以 - All right? - Yeah, okay.
卡尔·萨根不是唯一一个 Carl Sagan is not the only genius
今晚和我一起嗑嗨的天才 that I got high with tonight.
你知道 他们在办公室里叫你傻瓜·雷内蒂 You know, they're calling you Mug Renetti around the office.
是 我心知肚明 You're goddamn right, they are.
我绝对不会和平民约会 I could never date a civilian.
但我也真的不该和音乐家约会 But I really shouldn't date musicians either.
就是说 你要找到一个跟你做的事 So you have to find someone that's close enough
够接近的人 这样他会理解 to what you do that they get it...
-嗯哼 -但是又足够不同 - Mm-hmm. - But far enough away
这样他们才不会想要插手 that they're cool riding in the passenger seat.
所以我可以和音乐家约会 So I could date a musician.
如果你想得疱疹的话 Only if you want herpes.
哦 天呐 Oh, my God.
琳达 宝贝 你要上场了 Linda, you're on, babe.
-叫我了 -好的 - That's me. - Okay.
哦嗨 我吗 呃··· Oh, hi. Me? Um...
好嘞 Yes.
哦 操了 Oh, fuck.
跟大晚上喝咖啡似的 That's like night coffee.
好了各位 All right.
今晚 我将演唱新专辑里的几首歌 I am gonna play a few songs off the new album tonight.
但我觉得 首先呢 But I thought first,
我们可以先即兴一点 炒热气氛 we could warm things up with a little jam.
那么 上台来吧 格拉汉姆 So, Graham, get up here.
我亲爱的JD呢 Uh, JD, where is my baby?
还有 哦 朱迪·希尔 我知道你生我的气 And--oh, Judee Sill, I know you're mad at me,
但我需要你弹吉他 but I need you on guitar.
还需要一位摇沙锤的幸运观众 And I need a volunteer for shakers.
选我 Me!
-上来吧 乔伊斯·普里格 -好嘞 - Get up here, Joyce Prigger. - Okay.
大家准备好了吗 Are you guys ready?
首席法国号手 First chair French horn.
♪ I've been cheated ♪
♪ Been mistreated ♪
♪ When will I be loved? ♪
先别射 Don't finish yet.
忍住 忍着 Hold it. Hold it.
华勒斯 看着我 Wallace. Look at me.
不许看眼睛 Not in the eyes.
说了别看我眼睛 你个小垃圾 I said look away, you little shit.
嘿 道格 Hey, Doug.
呃 我发挥了一下主观能动性 Um, I took some initiative
帮你做完了《风骚女子》日历 and finished the Minx calendars for you.
哦 真是意料之外啊 斑比 Oh, that's unexpected, Bambs.
要把这些全部弄好 It's pretty complicated work
还挺复杂的… to do all that stuff, but, uh...
-这是你做的吗 -是的 - You did this? - Yeah.
-不错啊 -谢谢 - It's great. - Thank you.
你保持了大图 You kept the pictures big,
甚至把乔伊斯的无聊语录也放进去了 斑比 and you even got Joyce's boring quotes in there, Bambs.
是啊 因为呢 图像才是真正的卖点嘛 Yeah, well, the image is the real draw,
所以我把引语做成了互补色 so I put the quotes in complimentary colors
让它们淡化到背景中 so they fade into the background.
妙计 It's excellent.
希望你能把这些当做 I would like you to consider it
我对你秘书一职的申请 my application to be your secretary.
如果我想真正成为股底抽薪出版社的首席趣味官 If I'm gonna be Bottom Dollar CFO for real someday,
我就得向我认识的最聪明的人学习 I need to apprentice with the smartest man I know.
而那个人就是你 And that's you.
还有汤姆·帕克上校 但他可忙了 And Colonel Tom Parker, but he's busy.
考虑一下 Think about it.
我真是和她好好打了一炮 I'm really giving it to her in there.
嘿 华勒斯在哭呢··· Hey, Wallace is crying...
爽哭的 in a good way.
♪ When I find a new man ♪
♪ That I want for mine ♪
♪ He always breaks My heart in two ♪
♪ It happens every time ♪
♪ Oh, I've been cheated ♪
♪ Been mistreated... ♪
今晚这派对不错啊 亲爱的 Great party tonight, hon.
嗯呢 Mm.
别熬太晚 Don't stay up too late.
兰尼 我 呃 Len, I was, um,
我想回《风骚女子》工作 thinking about going back to Minx.
哦 也该回去了 Oh. It's about time.
♪ Tell me, when will I ♪
♪ Be ♪
♪ Loved? ♪
你今晚差点 You know, you looked dangerously close
就玩爽了 to having a good time tonight.
是啊 应该是可卡因的功劳 Yeah, I think that was the cocaine.
不好意思 我今天让你受尽折磨了 Hey, I'm sorry for torturing you today.
我知道真正的折磨是什么滋味 I've actually been tortured.
今天不是 今天很愉快 Today was fun.
我见到了卡尔·萨根 I met Carl Sagan.
我… It's just...
是这样 你给很多人写过专栏 Look, a lot of the people that you've profiled
而他们很多都遭遇了失败 have then taken a fall.
你是说集中营那些人吗 You mean the ones with death camps.
是的 还有其他人 Yeah, and others.
我知道了 I see.
我梦想中的我都已然得到 I've gotten everything I've ever wanted,
但这一切都发生得太快了··· and it's happened so fast, and...
所以你现在是在担心 你只是凭借一时之幸 而非实力吗 And now you're thinking, what if you just got lucky?
还有 如果我搞砸了呢 Like, what if I screw it up?
我就会在一夕之间失去所有 And then it's just all just gone again.
到时候该如何呢 What then?
是有可能的 I mean, it's possible.
但我一直在验证另一个理论 But I have been testing another theory.
什么呢 Yeah?
观察了你 Watching you,
看了你的杂志 reading your magazines,
和所有认识你的人聊了天… talking to just about everyone who knows you...
你有没有想过 ...have you ever considered that maybe
你值得所有的一切 you are exactly where you belong?
你可以放心享受 It's okay to like it.
♪ I feel my spirit fly ♪
♪ Only after dark ♪
♪ I kiss the world goodbye ♪
♪ Only after dark ♪
♪ Nights With the city lights ♪
♪ Only after dark ♪
♪ Run like the wonder way ♪
♪ Only after dark ♪
♪ Won't you disappear ♪
♪ Into midnight with me? ♪
♪ Why don't you come? ♪
♪ Why won't you come? ♪
♪ Why won't you fly Fly, fly? ♪
♪ Sweet elusive fate ♪
♪ Will be our company ♪